This past week, I have been dealing with some issues. Last Wednesday I got a head cold that was killer. I am still fighting the sinus effects of it. That illness brought some stark realizations to me. I have a tendency to get really down when I don’t feel good. I was sick, so I was constantly checking my book sales. Why? Probably because I am a glutton for punishment.
I haven’t done any advertising lately, and I haven’t put out any new books in several months. With this in mind, I am not sure why I thought my sales would be higher than they are. This brought me to a low place. I was feeling sick already, and thus, feeling sorry for myself. I know this is a dangerous thing for me. Anytime I feel the need to pity myself, I take it too far and spiral into a micro-depression that eventually grows until I feel crippled.
My sales, (or lack thereof) and my sickness, gave me dark thoughts. I started my What If? game and found that it wasn’t the inspirational “let’s write a story” type of What If? game. It was the “reality is here to smack you down” type of What If? game. I was forced to consider, What if I never become a successful author? What if every work I put out there receives no accolades? What if I am wasting my time?
I am sure there are other authors that come to this point and realize that they either cannot continue or decide that it is not what they want to do. I am not in that crowd. These questions forced me to accept the possibility. Maybe, I never will become a famous author. It is possible that I will receive no accolades for my writing. However, that last I cannot accept, I am not wasting my time. I say this because, even if I sell nothing, that is not why I chose to write. I chose to write because I want to share the stories in my head. I want to share the personalities I create. My imagination will never let me rest peacefully if I stopped writing.
I gave up writing once and it killed the life in me. I will not give up again. So, again, maybe I never become a famous author, maybe no one buys my books, maybe my sales plummet into oblivion, but maybe none of that happens. In realizing that anonymity is a possibility, realizing that all of the above is a possibility, I came to realize that the opposite is also a possibility. If the opposite is a possibility, I must strive for it.
“Success is not a destination, it’s a journey.” – Zig Ziglar
“The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.” – Dale Carnegie
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” – George Sheehan
“God gives every bird a worm, but he does not throw it in the nest.” – Sweedish Proverb
“When a man is willing and eager, the gods join in.” – Aechylus
Today, I am striving for it. I am bouncing back and kicking depression in the face. IN THE FACE! Until next time folks.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Author,
PS. I really hope Silva won that fight from the featured image or this whole post is for naught. LOL, or is it merely the thought that counts?