I am odd. If you follow my blog and haven’t figured that out yet, there it is. I am odd. One of the things I think makes me odd is that I have full on conversations with myself. It is sort of like thinking out loud, except that I ask myself questions and then answer them. I sort of have this Dave Versus DJ conversation. Dave is hyper critical and very negative. His thoughts are self-loathing and generally, he worries incessantly about what others think. DJ is the creative genius in me, he’s the one that says F it! I am going to be my own person.
I refer to myself – to myself – as we.
So these two persona’s clash inside me. I wouldn’t go so far as to declare myself schizophrenic or anything like that. I am perfectly aware that these opposing persona’s are really just different aspects of my own character. I think for ease of working out my emotions I play through conversations between Dave and DJ to tackle complexity. I find that sometimes though I refer to myself – to myself – as we.
I am curious if others experience this sort of disconnect from the emotional forces in their minds. I know I am creative, I know I am hyper-critical, I know sometimes I am the bloody Hulk, wanting nothing out of life other than to smash something. However, I feel like taking a step back and watching a conversation between two of me is easier than trying to sort through the emotions as I am experiencing them. It is easier to look at every emotion as an interaction with myself – while viewing myself.
Here is one such conversation I’ve had:
Dave: What if no one buys your book D?
DJ: Then I’ve still written it and I am still published.
Dave: Self-Published, not the same.
DJ: Same enough. You think it was a bad idea?
Dave: I didn’t say that.
DJ: You implied it.
Dave: I suppose I did. No, it’s not bad. Risky is more like it.
DJ: What’s life without risk? Isn’t life a series of risks that either paid off or didn’t?
Dave: That’s one way to look at it.
DJ: What other way is there?
Dave: Life is a series of events, but there doesn’t have to be a risk involved.
DJ: That’s the same thing I said.
Dave: Not really.
DJ: It is.
DJ: Right. I think it was a good idea, we’ve sold books.
Dave: Not many.
DJ: We’re still new.
Dave: It’s been almost 2 months, is that still new?
The conversation goes on, I have lengthy discussions with myself. I suppose I’ve written this post to announce my oddness, but I am curious if others do other similar things. Leave a Comment, let’s discuss. Until next time folks.
Your Friendly Neighborhood “ODD” Author,